Matrimonial miseries - The Ipswich Journal, 3 September 1836:

Mary Bird, the woman who on Monday was charged with an assault upon her mother-in-law Mary Mann, attended to prefer a charge of assault against her husband, William Bird, a coal-porter, and in appearance, by no means "an Adonis." Defending, (entering the room, and placing his hand upon his forehead), She's split my head open! Mr. Lawrance: What yesterday: Defendant: No: two months ago, chopped on to me with a hatchet. She used me scandalous; though I brought her home 15s. a week, nothing could be kept in the house - all went elsewhere. I've had a knife run into my arm afore this; she'll hang me, I know she will. Mrs. Bird (in the mildest tone imaginable): William, you are false man. (To the magistrates) I was walking up Fore-street, St. Clement's, last night, at half-past six, - Mr. Lawrance (to defendant): Can't you pull your cap off? Defendant: I can't, because she's split my head with a poker, and I must keep it covered. Mrs. Bird (resuming her complaint): I met my husband, and I asked him to come home; his father-in-law, who was with him, said, "he shall not go home, with you, any more;" and, after some altercation, he aded, "don't stand any more of her nonsense, Bill, knock her down." My husband then struck me, and I fell; I got up, and caught him by the collar, and said, "where you go, I will follow." He then dragged me from the Neptune, to Baker's corner, struck me several times on the head, and gave me a black eye. (Her left eye was bandaged.) The "tender husband," on being cal'ed upon for his defence, denied the assault, and called Wm. Mann, his father-in-law, who deposed that Mrs. Bird seized her husband by the collar: but he saw no blows struck, and he walked away. Mrs. Bird: Did you not tell your son to throw me down? Mann: No. Mrs. Bird: You know how ill used I have been, and you've tried every thing in your power to part man and wife. Mann: Part man and wife! why I've lived 20 years with a woman, and paid rent in the bargain. Look how you've used my wife. You broke her breast bone, and last night she had to go to Dr. Pitcher's to have it set! James Armstrong and Charles Goodwin, coal porters, swore that Mrs. Bird struck the first blows. The magistrates, under these circumstances, reluctantly dismissed the complaint, and Dr. Clarke remarked, that the defendant's conduct had been of a very cowardly description. Defendant: I dare not strike her at all: she would get up a knife, poker, hatchet, or any thing she could lay her hands upon: and the other day she sent a mug at my head, and covered me with a pall of water! I can't live with her; she will murder me in the end, if I go home! - The complainant said she was enceinte! (pregnant - WN).

A very costly spurning

Extraordinary breach of promise to marry-£400 damages - Leeds Times 5 March 1864: At the Warwick…

Baby faced jockey

Tiny hoop wows women - Aberdeen Journal, 24 September 1902: The Sheepshead Bay Racecourse, New…

Baldrick would have been so proud

Monster turnip - Hereford Times 5 October 1861: We have been favoured with the sight of a turnip,…

Bovine battleground

Serious raid by a bullock - Carlisle Patriot, 19 April 1867: The spirit of mischief seems to have…

Canine conversation

Speaking of dogs - Newcastle Courant, 13 February 1731: Edinburgh, Jan. 16. Both City and Country…

Caning in church

The office of dog-whipper - Hertford Mercury and Reformer 3 November 1888: In reference to the…

Curl your lips

This should bring a smile - South Australian Chronicle and Weekly Mail, 15 August 1868: An American…

Dressing down

Frocking tale - Herts Guardian, Agricultural Journal, and General Advertiser, 15 November 1853: Ann…

Extraordinary way to die

Fatal final steps - Aberdeen Press and Journal 3 April 1822: On Friday last, as John McKenzie, a…

Fighting for love

Sailor boy, sailor girl - North Devon Journal, 22 July 1841: A female sailor. - A considerable…

Fists fly in Elder abuse

Mutiny of Mormon converts - The Shields Daily Gazette and Shipping Telegraph, 18 February 1898:…

Hear, hear, here

Speaking of silly - Exeter and Plymouth Gazette, 11 March 1848: At the Lancaster assizes, on…

Hobbling down the aisle

The ceremony took ages - Derby Mercury 26 October 1786: Bristol, October 21. Tuesday was married at…

Hound begs for money

A sagacious dog - Aberdeen Herald and General Advertiser 2 November 1844: A dog, of a mongrel…

Humanity unmasked

Astute observation - Derby Mercury 26 June 1794: ANECTODE. Mr. NEWTON, when formerly captain of a…

It's tough at the top

'Distress' in London - Bell's Weekly Messenger, 27 May 1865: (From the Owl.) For the last fortnight…

Loudly hitched

Wedding for the ages - Bury and Norwich Post, 31 August 1836: On Friday last, John Scates,…

Makes for a big reunion

Daniel Aitken died aged 120 - Exeter and Plymouth Gazette, 1 May 1847: A man named Daniel Aitken…

Making hay

Longevity - Bury and Norwich Post, 15 September 1847: There is at present a woman named Mary…

Market fluctuation

Shameful price to pay - The Suffolk Chronicle; or Weekly General Advertiser & County Express, 28…

Money isn't everything

Eccentric woman's death at Colchester - Essex Standard, 28 January 1899: The circumstances…

Oswego lake monster

Another 'sea serpent' sensation - Sheffield Independent 2 July 1867: We know that it has been…

Photo finish

Deadly reflection - Bury and Norwich Post, 10 March 1847: DIED. On the 14th ult., at St.…

Shattering bolt

Struck by the electric fluid - Wolverhampton Chronicle and Staffordshire Advertiser, 23 February…

She wasn't kidding

Not rushing into things - Derby Mercury 12 March 1795: At Chesterfield, on Monday last, Mr. John…

Shot doing his job

Right royal mistake - Derby Mercury, 26 October 1786: ANECDOTE of the late KING of PRUSSIA. It is…

Sleuth-hounds caracole

Dream of a Spelling Bee - Leicester Chronicle, 22 January 1876: Unknown (1876) Menageries where…

Still squabbling

Nothing new under the sun - The Examiner, July 24, 1858: TURKEY— Fanatical Movements.— The news…

Taking it in his stride

Boots made for walking - Aberdeen Journal, 23 May 1827: Pedestrianism. - James Baxter,…

Tears at the altar

Jilted curate's agony - Nottingham Evening Post, 3 July 1925: Unites to his rival the girl who…

That's a relief

Worthy of support - The Ipswich Journal, 20 September 1845: A PATRIARCH.-John Matthews, aged 114,…

The floor gave way

Precipitated into the cellars - Cambridge Independent Press 11 January 1873: An extraordinary…

Three's a crowd

Triple treat - The Ipswich Journal, 3 September 1836: At Brussels, last week, a barber's wife, 40…

Too good to be true ....

Speculating with a wife - Leicester Chronicle 22 January 1876, page 6: A Swiss paper gives a story…

Warmly received

Woolly first-fleecers - Wolverhampton Chronicle and Staffordshire Advertiser, 23 February 1859:…

Young love triumphs

An elopement frustrated - Aberdeen Evening Express, 17 July 1888: A singular scene was (says a…